Dating · Life · Relationships

Hello, It’s Me…

How was your weekend?! I feel like I have been MIA over the last week but work totally kicked my @$%. Hopefully this week is a little more calm. It is already off to a great start. I took my student worker to lunch and then met my mentor for margaritas last night. She texted me saying “let’s meet at 5 so you can get home in time for The Bachelor.”  I appreciate her so much. But we had a slight change in plans last night because me and J’s alma mater was playing in the CAA Men’s Basketball Championship game last night and they WON! I went to a bar to watch it with some friends and I am such a proud Seahawk this morning!

Anyways, me and J are whipping up some good stuff for y’all over the next couple weeks and we are going to kick it off with talking about the always popular topic of your: EX BOYFRIEND.

Don’t you just love it when you are getting your life back on track after a breakup and then just when you are headed down the highway of happiness *POOF* your ex-boyfriend hits you with that phone call or text.For example:

“Hey how have you been?”

“Do you have a second to talk?”

“I have been thinking about you a lot lately… I miss you”

Or my personal favorite “Did you block me?” LOLZ.

*INSERT EYE ROLL EMOJI*

I should honestly put “expert ex-boyfriend handler” on my resume for how many times I have had to deal with this issue. Just last year, BOTH of my college boyfriends tried to slide back in “as my friend”. STAHP. But I think the two ex’s who make the biggest comebacks are X and Narcy. Now, we have established that X is no longer a contender. Thank you iPhone, Facebook, Twitter and Insta for your blocking abilities. You’re the real MVP. But Narcy… that’s a different story. Let’s talk about this for a bit…

I have mentioned Narcy a couple times over the last couple of posts so it’s time for you to meet him. I met Narcy at a Super Bowl party last year and was instantly attracted to him, partly because he was drinking a great bottle of red wine. And he is incredibly good looking. He friend requested me that night and I wanted to message him but my DC bestie advised me to wait until he was back in town. He was in Daytona for two weeks because he works for the company that broadcasts NASCAR. Ever seen the in car cameras? Yeah, that’s him. Ok anyways… so I hit him with a Facebook message knowing that he was back in town and we decided to get dinner and drinks together on a Friday. That date was awesome and we never slowed down from there. We hung out five days in a row and everything started moving incredibly fast. He was kind, thoughtful, funny and had a lot to offer. We balanced each other really well until things started to actually progress and get serious. This is when Narcy started to distance himself from me. He became less and less available when he was here. He traveled for work for weeks at a time but would always balance by being home for a week post-travel. He no longer let me know when he had landed safely or made it back from his trips. We had so many discussions about “wtf is going on here?” and it always ended with him saying ” I want this. I want us to work.” so I believed him yet things never changed. After a weekend of fighting, we ended things and it hurt. I never had anyone get so close to me and then get so far away so quickly. IT HURT and it really messed with me for awhile. We did not talk at all over the summer. The first time I heard from him was on my birthday. He texted me again over Thanksgiving. We texted often over Christmas and have not stopped since then. We talked about what happened and he apologized/reassured me that I was great (duh) and that it was all him just being in a weird personal space. Now that we are talking again, I am letting him do all the work. I think I have initiated a conversation three times since we have started talking. So stay tuned for more. OH! I bet you are wondering why Narcy is his nickname. Well… that’s an abbreviated version of the word Narcissist because during my  post-breakup analysis with my DC bestie, it became VERY clear in the last couple months that we had a classic case of a narcissist on our hands.

Ok… with all that being said… let’s talk about letting ex’s back into our lives. We all do it. But why? Personally, I think we let them back in because we have not fully let them go. I think we become generally interested in what could come of this pop up yet remain fully aware that it could end brutally. Again. However, I don’t think we can completely cut someone out of our lives until WE are ready to do so. This looks different for everyone. Some women I know are incredibly strong and once you break up, that’s it. Clearly, I am very different. I think this stems from never fully processing what has happened/facing all my emotions. I think we all reach our breaking points at different moments but how amazing does it feel when you do? When I realized that I needed to cut off all communication ties with X it literally felt like a 100lb weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I am at a point in my life where if you do not bring me joy then BBBYYEEE. Friends included.

So what happens to me now that I have let Narcy back in? It’s starting to play out exactly like I thought it would. He’s been in town for the last week and made zero effort to hang out. Classic Narcy. Always keeping things close enough but not too close.I feel my patience starting to wear thin with Narcy so this could be an interesting week.

What has your experience been like with letting an ex back into your life? Let us know!

xoxo- C

 

 

 

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