Well now that the worst holiday ever is over, the actual holiday can start and that is 50% off candy. AMIRITE???
In all seriousness, I hope you all enjoyed your day. Whether you spent it with a SO, Galentines, or you had a Treat Yo Self moment… it is definitely a day that can be filled with self love. Personally, I ate cookie dough for lunch because PMS. My boss got me flowers which made me tear up because PMS and then my Dad texted me “$$$” meaning he put money in my account so naturally I teared up. Again. Because PMS. GOOD TIMES, Y’ALL.
Anyways, it’s time to talk dating again. A lot has been happening over the last couple weeks that I am going to dive into over the next several posts. For starters, I have officially, officially, officially cut off all ties and communication with X. I know my friends are probably rolling their eyes right now but this is FOR REALZ. Literally days after I did that, Narcy popped back up in my life. You’ll meet Narcy probs sooner than later. It’s interesting. And for today’s topic: I told Cop that it just wasn’t working out. Let’s talk about this one…
I was introduced to Cop by a semi-colleague. My company works with the Command Staff at the local Police Department so I coordinate with the Chief’s assistant all the time. I’m going to call her Cougar because she is 100% a cougar and she is hilarious. I wanted to take Cougar out to lunch as a thank you for all she does for us. I decided to meet her for lunch one day before I had to leave for a work conference. Typically when I have client lunches they’re very surface level conversations but my girl Cougar was an open book and I love her so much for it. Of course she asked me if I was dating anyone and I said no which led her to tell me that she has the perfect person to set me up with. She insisted that we take a selfie together before we leave so she can show Cop. A couple hours pass after lunch and I have a text from Cougar saying she sent my selfie and that Cop is very interested. Mmkay… so weird but this could be fun. Fast forward to the week of Thanksgiving and my phone goes off. It’s Cop. I tell him I am leaving town the next day but we should get together when I get back. We make plans for dinner for that following Monday.
The night of our date has arrived and I was nervous because it was the first one I had been on in a hot minute. He picks me up (I normally don’t do this but he is a cop sooooo) and I am greeted by a man with long hair and an aggressive beard. It’s important to note here that Cop was on the Special Investigations team so their grooming rules/regulations are nonexistent. However, he did shave the beard and cut the hair post-Christmas. Much needed.
We get dinner, normal convo. He was very nice and pretty easy to talk to. Overall I had a decent time. Unfortunately, I was about to be gone/busy every single weekend in December so our second date was in January. So weird, right? We would text off and on. He called every now and then. Again, why people call me, I will never know.
January rolls around and we pick the absolute coldest night EVER to go get dinner. I was having a stellar hair day though. We were literally the ONLY people in the restaurant which was as awkward as you’re thinking it would be. After dinner he decided that he wanted to take me to get dessert. He is not a dessert fan. RED FLAG. But look, if someone offers to buy you a cupcake, you say YES. He walked like WAYYY far ahead of me which was really weird. Minor detail. But weird. I got home from that date and just felt off. Our conversation was just ok. He didn’t really ask questions about me and when he did, he would make comments about how intimidated he was about my level of intelligence considering what my job is. THAT threw me off. I also just felt like I listened to him most of the time and when I did speak, I realized I was repeating what I have told him numerous times. This is such a date annoyance to me. Like details on where my brothers work is really easy to remember. Both universities. Both work in sports. IDK, maybe it’s just me but I feel like if you’re trying to date someone, you should probably remember information about their family. Once I got home, I immediately went over to one of my girlfriends houses and drank. A lot.
A couple weeks pass and he asked if he could take me to dinner on Saturday. I said yes but when Saturday rolled around I just had this weird feeling. I wasn’t excited about this date at all and I am at the point where if you are making me feel uneasy, why should I continue to waste your time and mine? I decided to go to dinner anyways to see if I continue to feel unsettled during and after. We go to dinner and the entire time we are there, Cop talks about how he doesn’t make much money. Now look, money is not a deal breaker. But the way that you discuss money? Now that is. I do not make a lot but I budget every single month (shout-out to my SIL for the most badass budget spreadsheet ever) and I know when and where to cut back. Cop on the other hand proceeds to tell me how he has run out of money numerous times and does not know how to check his bank information online. He doesn’t even do auto-draft for bills which has resulted in him paying his bills late. He literally talked about this for the duration of our dinner. The waitress brings the check and he whips out some cash which was super awko because WHOA you just told me you don’t have any money. I make a comment about how I can pay for my own if he needs me to and he insisted that he got this. Mmkay.
After this dinner, I knew that I was not interested anymore. I already felt uneasy and then this money thing happened. When I got home, I immediately texted my SIL to try and figure out what the hell just happened. She is awesome for realz. But here is my question to you all:
Is there a right time to talk about money while you are in the early stages of dating? If not, when do you have the money talk with your significant other?
In case you were wondering, I did end things with Cop this week.
Lesson learned from this dating experience
Follow your gut instinct because it is normally right.
Woman intuition is real, y’all.