Dating · Life · Lifestyle · Relationships

Number 1, Tough One and THE One.


Guess what day it is? HUUUUMP DAAAAAAY! Okay sorry I just had to. The only real good things that come from it being Wednesday is that one, we are halfway to the weekend and two, alliteration justifies the term Wine Wednesday and I can pop the cork off that bottle of Pinot Grigio that keeps staring at me from the rack in the kitchen.

As you guys know, I’m engaged and planning a wedding for September of this year (::gasp:: it’s so close). I have found “The One” and am making that gigantic life altering decision to spend the rest of my life with him. For the purpose of this blog let’s call him Mr. Forever. Now Mr. Forever didn’t just happen over night without life’s oh so helpful lessons that we all have to learn. No it took many attempts, failures, almosts and a little bit of luck to get here. Before we can really talk about Mr. Forever we need to take it back to Number 1.

If you’re in high school or just recently graduated then you have probably experienced a Number 1. Number 1 is your first boyfriend; your first love. The quarterback of the football team who catches your heart at 15 and you think that it’s going to last forever only to get heart broken after 5 years. Don’t get me wrong, I know a handful of couples from my high school days that are still together, married and have started a family; so it does happen. But more often than not, you end up heart broken with a handful of really good life lessons.

Number 1 and I met when I was 15 and I fell hard; we both did. We were both so similar in personalities that it was toxic to our relationship. Passionate, stubborn, hard headed, confrontational were a few of the traits that didn’t mix well together. When we were good, we were really good; but when we argued, it wasn’t good at all. Number 1 taught me passion and what it felt like to give your whole heart away. You know that saying all good things must come to an end? Number 1 also taught me what it felt like to be second best, not good enough and worthless. Yup, you guessed it. Number 1 was my first, yes there were more to follow, cheater! Long story short our break up was awful and EVERYONE got involved. We tried for years (maybe 5?) to patch things up; always finding ourselves coming back to one another on breaks. But it was never the same; the trust was gone and the damage was irreversible. Number 1 taught me the power of forgiveness and to this day there is nothing I want more for him than happiness.

I didn’t “date” again until the later part of college (when Number 1 and I FINALLY parted ways completely) and even then the term boyfriend was never given out. Boyfriend meant you met my parents and quite honestly there was no one in college worthy enough for that, so I just kept things simple and saw boys “exclusively” (term used loosely). Let’s be honest; I entered my freshman year and made the most of my time there in everything I did, that included boys. No shame in my game honey!

Sometimes when you meet someone you just click. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in the click. That day at my apartment mailbox, the clicked happened and I didn’t even see it coming. This brings us to my tough love. Let’s call him Trouble because that is exactly what he was. Looking back on our time together I don’t think I was truly in love with him, but if circumstances were different I definitely could have been. Trouble and I met after I had changed my major. We lived in the same apartment complex and both needed a partner for a project so when we bumped into each other at the mailbox, there we were. Trouble was hot, and he knew it. Smooth talker, cocky as could be and I was in. It was perfect timing as I would be leaving in just a few semesters and he had over a year left. Our friendship evolved into nothing more than anything casual and I was having fun enjoying each other’s company and the many things we had in common.

But alas, nothing ever stays that simple, it’s life! I’m not sure when the switch was turned, but it did; feelings got involved. Everything in my gut told me to walk away and I really did try. The timing was awful and the whole idea was unrealistic. Something about us just…clicked. I don’t think he was ready to settle down either but we both continued to see each other up until the day I left. There was no big goodbye or some drawn out parting. I just packed up and left and that was that. Trouble taught me that timing is everything and you can’t force something to be when life won’t let you. Trouble is my “what could have been” and that will be something that I think back to time to time. “What would have happened if I had another year left in school?” “Could something real have come about?”  But I’ve also learned that you can’t dwell in the past and wasn’t meant to be was just that.

Fast forward to a year and a half out of school and having moved back to my hometown. I was working back at my high school job waiting for the final details of my current job to be worked out and Mr. Forever walked in for a pair of cleats. Now just a short back story on Mr. Forever and I: we met 17 years ago in elementary school, went to middle school together, played soccer for the same club and worked together all 4 years of high school. Nothing ever happened and there were absolutely no feelings whatsoever. If you told me 9 years ago (our junior year of high school) that I would be marrying this boy, I swear to you I would have peed my pants laughing. jordan-and-i

When he walked in that day, I’ll admit it, he looked H-O-T, HOT.  He had just graduated after his last semester and fresh out of football season (he played soccer and was the kicker for the football team), hello muscles! We hadn’t seen each other in years and made plans to get together and catch up. Ma’s boss was in a band and we (Ma and I) had plans to go see him play. We invited g-ma and one of my friends (now a bridesmaid, let’s call her Tee for future purposes), so I figured why not have him come along; this would later become our first date. Yes, our first date included my mother and grandmother. That night was also our first kiss.

To be totally cliche, the rest is history and here we are: planning a wedding and I couldn’t be happier. Mr. Forever really is THE One; but how do I know? How do you know when to say yes to one of the most important and critical question you’ll ever be asked? Read my next blog post to find out because it takes a lot!

xoxo – J

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