Do you find yourself being the token single girl in your girl gang? I do! Because I have awesome friends who care about me, they like to set me up on blind dates. Just typing blind date makes me cringe a little given my recent track record. After going on these blind dates I find myself wondering “what on earth was my girlfriend thinking?!” and then I realize it’s the single effect. I am single. He is single. IT MUST BE TRUE LOVE!! I have decided to take matters into my own hands and write an open letter…
Dear friends of mine who want to set me up in the near future:
I have decided to make it easier on you by creating a list of do’s and dont’s for you to abide by. Please follow this list carefully to prevent slightly less awkward first encounters for me. Kthanksloveyoubye.
-do set me up with someone who actually knows something about sports.
-do set me up with someone that is 5’7 or taller. just because I am 5’0 does not mean I want to date someone who is as small as I am.
-do set me up with someone who appreciates $2 taco night.
-do set me up with someone who is outgoing but would also be comfortable staying in and watching Netflix.
-do set me up with someone who has a good job.
-do set me up with someone who you think will appreciate my level of weird
-do set me up for drinks. not dinner. too much pressure.
-do keep my interests in mind.
-do set me up in more of a public scene, if possible. let’s all go out together before you force a 1-on-1.
-do set me up with someone who can hang in our family Backyard Volleyball games. that ish gets competitive.*
-do not set me up with someone just because they are single.
-do not set me up with someone who does not understand basketball. if you want to get along with my family, you better know basketball.
-do not set me up with someone who is pushing 40 or past 40. no offense dudes out there. just not my scene.
-do not set me up with a stage 5 clinger. I don’t do clingy. can a girl get some breathing room?!
-do not set me up with your boyfriends roommate or best friend unless 85% of the ‘do’ rules apply.
-do not set me up with someone who says “UM UM UM” a million times before giving a clue in Catchphrase. again, ya gotta be able to hang with my family’s games.*
*shout-out to my awesome SIL (sister in law) for the additions to the list. she gets it.
Your Token Single Friend
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES: what are some items on your do’s and dont’s setup list? Comment below!