Happy Friday! You’ve made it! The weekend is finally within our reach and we can all look forward to popping the cork off that bottle of wine and relaxing, or in my case finally do the laundry that has been on the floor of my closet for the last 5 days.
Let me dive a little deeper and let you peel back a few of the layers that make me, me.
The first 10 years of my life I was brought up beach side in sunny southern California. My dad (let’s call him Diddy) traveled a lot while I was growing up so my mom (Ma) was super woman: taking me and my brother (Broski) to and from school, the athletic fields and various social events all while making sure the house was cleaned (and by cleaned I mean growing up my house was SPOTLESS), meals were prepped and laundry was done.
Athletics have always been a part of who I am; I was brought home in a NY Jets onsie for goodness sake (please try not to judge me too harshly on my choice in football teams). Growing up my parents made it a point to make sure me and Broski stayed very active and SoCal was the perfect place to be. Then the bomb dropped and I thought life as I knew it was over (I had, and still do have, a flare for the dramatic). We were moving east…across the country…to the South.
There was no explosion and my life didn’t end. Quite honestly, looking back the move couldn’t have turned out better. I dove deeper into the world of travel soccer, met great friends, went to school, landed a few jobs, graduated college, met “my person” and now here we are. But as all of you know life can’t be all glitter and rainbows and mine certainly has it’s downs. High school socially was awful (let’s save that for another day) and throughout my late teens and early twenties I struggled internally with self love and the unknown of where life would take me. My personality profile reads: extreme type A perfectionist, needs everything planned out and every event is color coded on a calendar. So when soccer was taken off life’s planner for me, you can imagine how well that went over.
Being an athlete was easy. It helped that I was naturally very talented (toot toot), but being an athlete gave me confidence and direction. If I made a big tackle BOOM confidence, scored a goal BOOM, had interest from college recruiters, BOOM, boys showed me attention, BOOM BOOM BOOM. But after soccer and I parted ways I had to take a look at the real me without soccer, and I was not confident in who I saw. I saw a short (5’2) curvy blonde who didn’t own one pair of heels or know how to wing liquid eyeliner. I instantly became aware of my body and how big certain areas were and how small others were. I started putting myself side by side with other girls who were taller or thinner or “girlier” than me. I started to obsess over my purpose in life and what I was “supposed” to be doing at a certain point in life. I became lost.
Coming into your twenties is like going through your awkward teenage years all over again. You are thrown into this world expecting to get a job with the degree you spent thousands of dollars to get, you’re too old to live with with your parents but you have no job to support that $900/month rent and don’t even get me started on shopping for clothes. Your body is changing AGAIN and you can no longer wear those short shorts and crop tops (or can you?) but you’re still not old enough to shop at NY&Co or LOFT.
The early part of my twenties were a self-conscious, confusing and frustrating state and actually that’s still pretty accurate. Over the last few years though I’ve found out how to learn to love the body God gave me and that it needs special love and care and that these 10 years are all about trial and error and finding out what works best for YOU.
You will feel unstable and constantly wonder if your current relationship and paycheck will go the distance. You will struggle within the ferocious competition for jobs.
The truth is, there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to adulthood. From my point of view you’ll get to learn my journey of finding self love through fitness, how I finally figured out what I deserve from people in my life and how I learned that you don’t need to finish school, leave home, marry and have a child by a certain deadline. Today’s 20 somethings want, I think, what everyone else in the world wants: the opportunity to live life on our own terms and in our own time frames.
xoxo – J